Yay, I Cried! When Waterworks Are the Way to Go
For some people, tears come easily. Me, though….it’s not as easy. Even when I can tell that tears want to happen, they often just don’t. Not usually, at least.
So when I started tearing up recently, and for what seemed like silly inspiration (a heartfelt moment in Queer Eye; yes, really), I put up my typical resistance to emotions. I started holding my jaw tightly and looking out the window to focus on something else. Then I made a choice. I decided to let myself cry.
And as usually is the case, I felt motherfucking good afterward. I felt RELIEF. Like I had freed up energy. Like myself again. And didn’t have that familiar tears-waiting-in-the-wings feeling.
I write all of this to urge you, fellow non-crier, to dare to take opportunities to cry when they appear. Even if it’s while watching a YouTube of a kitten snuggling up against a pig. And especially when something difficult in your life makes you want to cry.
I’ll be the first to say that it’s SCARY to be faced with a wave of tears. It can feel like the spigot will never turn off once we’ve let it turn on. Because chances are, there’s quite a lot of tear back log. But maybe you can take some comfort in knowing that since you’re skilled at stopping yourself from crying, once that wave of emotion passes, you’ll be able to go back to your usual ways.
But you’ll feel better. Lighter. Even sometimes more hopeful and positive.
The thing is: Many of us learn that having feelings means there’s something wrong with us. That we’re weak. And the truth is that it’s brave AF. It’s badass to be able to let yourself feel and survive on the other end of it. You’re facing something that is uncomfortable, that is intense, that feels scary, and you’re doing it anyway.
So the next time you’re in a situation where you could pick the usual path of no tears and one where you let the feelings flow, consider trying out a new way. Remember it’s brave. Remember it’s healthy. Remember you’ll feel better afterward.
Of course, it can feel scary to feel deep feelings on one’s own. Sometimes it’s in the company of a caring guide (like a therapist) that people feel comfortable enough to turn the spigot on. If you think you may need some extra support, feel free to reach out to me for a free 15-minute consultation. I’d love to hear from you.